top of page

When You Start to Slide, Don’t Hide: Tips for College Students Facing Struggles


 

As a former college instructor, I observed a concerning pattern each semester. A few students would start strong, only to struggle as the weeks progressed. The causes varied—some faced illness, others felt overwhelmed (especially those with ADHD), and many battled mental health challenges. A missed test or major assignment often served as the tipping point, though attendance would invariably come to a halt either before or after that tipping point. Weeks would pass, and it seemed as if these students had dropped the course, despite remaining on my roster and accumulating zeroes for missed assignments. Although I reached out, responses were infrequent. Some students would finally reply toward the end of the semester out of desperation, but by then, it was often too late to address their struggles. Conversations in the faculty lounge confirmed this issue was widespread. It happens every semester, in every class.


At a recent executive function seminar, I encountered a saying that resonated with me: it was suggested that we teach students “When you start to slide, don’t hide.” This phrase perfectly encapsulates the phenomenon I had witnessed. Many students, feeling embarrassed, hopeless, or defeated after missing classes and assignments, instinctively chose to hide rather than confront their challenges. I understand this impulse; college can feel unforgiving, and it is true that even one major missed assignment or exam can jeopardize a student’s chance of passing a course. The belief that there are no second chances in college is often reinforced as a well-intentioned warning, but it can inadvertently discourage students from seeking help and support. This is particularly crucial for students with ADHD, who are more susceptible to anxiety and depression. These students frequently grapple with rejection sensitivity and have faced negative judgments that frame their struggles as personal weaknesses. As a result, they may be even more inclined than their non-ADHD peers to hide from or ignore their challenges until it’s too late to address them. This instinct to hide serves as a protective mechanism, allowing students to maintain a sense of comfort while avoiding additional stressors during challenging situations. However, while ignoring the issue may offer temporary relief, this tactic ultimately harms students more than it helps.


I want to emphasize that some instructors are willing to make exceptions for extenuating circumstances, including health issues—both physical and mental. But even if an instructor cannot provide an exception, they would likely advise these students to drop the course before it negatively impacts their academic record (these last-day-to-withdraw dates are also usually listed on the course syllabus and on the college’s academic calendar). Faculty can also suggest student support services to their students based on the issue the student is struggling with, whether it is tutoring, mental health care, or financial assistance for students experiencing financial hardship. Professors typically want to help and are invested in their students' success and well-being, even if they cannot allow assignments to be made up or to excuse absences when, for example, they have rigid attendance policies. 



While hiding may feel like the right response for a struggling student, it’s the wrong instinct. Colleges now offer more student support services than ever. If instructors are unaware of a student’s struggle, they can’t help. If visiting office hours feels too daunting, students should at least email their instructors to initiate the conversation. If they do not get a supportive response, they should seek the advice of an academic advisor or another instructor. 


For high school students preparing to enter college, I encourage you to remember this advice: when you encounter difficulties in college, resist the urge to hide. Instead, reach out to your instructors. Let them know what’s happening and ask for guidance and support. Many, if not all, students face challenges during their academic journey, and addressing them head-on is often the best path forward. 



15 views0 comments

Comments


thrive adhd coaching logo

ADHD and Executive Function Coach for Students

Austin, Texas + Anywhere in the World (virtually)

©2024 by Thrive ADHD Coaching

leaf logo for thrive adhd coaching atx
bottom of page